The 6th Love Language

I find myself joking a lot about my 6th love language and I wish I could explain all of what you’re about to read to everyone I pour that love into.

But in order to share that with you, we first need to talk about the original 5 compiled by Gary Chapman. He is a pastor in North Carolina who is best known for his book, “The 5 Love Languages”.

Imagine that your loved one speaks Spanish and you keep telling them over and over how much you love them in English. You are expressing it and feeling it but they’re not receiving much. This idea that Gary proposes is much the same. He says that there are 5 love languages and most people have 1 or 2 dominant ones through which they feel and receive love the most.


The 5 languages are gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Gifts can be a material item or something free that requires some thought. Quality time could involve uninterrupted one on one time with good eye contact and no distractions. Words of affirmation are unsolicited verbal (or written) expressions of praise, encouragement, love, kindness or respect.  Some good examples of acts of service would be cheerfully taking on a chore that you know your spouse really does not like doing or planning a date and taking care of all the details. Physical touch can be sitting close together on the couch, holding hands, hugging and kissing.

Discovering your own primary love language can shed light on so many things. You may find that you express your love in the way that you feel it most. For example, if my love language is words of affirmation then I’m probably going to spend a lot of time telling my husband how much I love him and leaving him little notes in his lunch bag. However, if his love language is physical touch, then my words are not wasted but the output of my efforts could be tripled if I focused on hugs and kisses instead.

Chapman has written several other books around the same concept and I especially love the one for children. It makes a lot of sense that your kids would receive love differently from each other. There’s a quiz here to find out which love language you primarily speak! It’s a fantastic activity to do with your spouse and kids.

Very often lately I’ve been finding myself saying that my 6th love language is sharing my essential oils. I usually laugh when I say it and it sounds silly but it’s actually quite serious and important to me.

If you read my blog, then you know that I have a passion for healthy living. The very first step of this path started with essential oils and even with all of the other pieces I’ve picked up over the years, the center point is still my oils!

On a seriously regular basis I find myself speaking to someone who is sharing a struggle of some kind with me. They themselves or someone in their immediate family would like to see a positive change in a certain area of their life. They’re in pain. Their digestive system is not functioning well. They want to switch to organic home products but money is just always tight. Their sleep is not restful. Their stress levels or anxiety are through the roof. They just can’t seem to get through a winter without being sick 3 or 4 times. They’re embarrassed by their skin.

The resounding theme is always a quality of life issue. Meanwhile, I’m yelling in my head, “I have an oil that may help with that! It’s just a plant. Truly God’s original medicine. Let me teach you. Save you money. Remove the toxin that you’re currently using that isn’t working the way you hoped. Help you experience true wellness instead of repeating these steps and hoping for different outcomes.”

In most cases, I bite my tongue and wait/hope to be asked but not always. Sometimes I share anyway. I ask if I can give them a sample or guide them to a better, healthier, safer option. These are the times that I leap out of my comfort zone, ignore the fear of sounding like my motivation is coming from anywhere other than wanting to help and pour out that 6th love language.

I didn’t want to go to my first class. I didn’t know what the oils were and I didn’t have any knowledge about what they could do. But I had a need. A BIG need. I began to know better and do better… for myself and for my family.  And now I just genuinely want to help others know and do better, too.

I wish I had kept a tally of how many times people have said to me that their only regret with the oils is that they didn’t start earlier. This is what keeps me going. Every drop of oil used is one less toxic product poisoning your house or body. Truly. It sounds dramatic but it’s not.

So if I’ve ever given you a sample, taught you a class, texted you back about the proper usage, then friend I LOVE YOU! If I’ve ever encouraged you to consider seeing what the heck I’m doing, gently reminded you that what you’re using could be causing more harm than good or offered information to start making small, manageable changes then I LOVE YOU! (With most people I can be reserved but I swear I can’t hold myself back when it comes to pregnant women because I just love those tiny babies more than I can bear.)Essential-Oils-Are-My-Love-Language

When my oil mentors teach and encourage me, man oh man does that fill my cup. And I get it. It’s their 6th love language, too even if they don’t know it.

So try me out. Ask me some hard questions. If I ignore you, I don’t love you. Kidding!! I love you all because we’re sons and daughters of the same King. I wish that essential oils had been added somewhere in 1 Corinthians 13. Ha! Come to a class so I can love on you. Let me come to your house and love on you and the people you love. If you’re far away, I’ll mail you some love. Just know that if I share with you, it’s coming from the best place possible.  ❤

Here is a link to a pdf of the 5 Love Languages book if you want to check it out. And you should!

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